"Feelings are very real things, and they change and change and change..."
Ah, the complex emotional life of a (newly) six year old! Our little girl is certainly one of strong and varied emotions. I know that for me, at age 31, I still struggle sometimes to not be overpowered by my feelings. I have always been a strong "feeler," highly sensitive, (for your enneagram people out there, I'm a 4!) and part of my growth into maturity has been along the lines of trying to have a right perspective on my emotions. Yes, my feelings tell me a truth about my life, but they are not the whole truth. As a person living with depression it is vital that I recognize that even if I feel depressed on a given day, it does not mean that my life is a mess, or that I will never feel okay again. If these lessons are hard for me, as an adult, to learn, how can I hope to teach them to my child? Marlo Thomas to the rescue again!
One of the things we've been trying to communicate to Little C with this move is that its okay to be sad about leaving, but we can also feel excited about the new adventure that we're going to have. Both things can be true at the same time, and both FEELINGS can be true too.
Today in the car we were looking at the Free To Be You and Me book that we got out of the library and listening to the EP that came in the back of the book. As a child of the seventies, I grew up on this glorious tribute to gender equality and "a land where the children are free!" We don't have the CD ourselves, so Little C doesn't know each word to every song the way I did, but I think we need to go out and buy it. Check out these lyrics (are they perfect or what???):
It's All Right to Cry - Free to Be You and Me by Carol Hall
It's all right to cry
Crying gets the sad out of you
It's all right to cry
It might make you feel better
Raindrops from your eyes
Washing all the mad out of you
Raindrops from your eyes
It's gonna make you feel better
It's all right to feel things
Though the feelings may be strange
Feelings are such real things
And they change and change and change
Sad 'n' grumpy, down in the dumpy
Snuggly, hugly, mean 'n' ugly
Sloppy, slappy, hoppy, happy
Change and change and change
It's all right to know
Feelings come and feelings go
It's all right to cry
It might make you feel better
{Spoken}
It's all right to cry, little boy
I know some big boys that cry too
I hope that I can continue to model for her the wisdom that our feelings change, and all of them are okay. There's room for all of these different emotions in her, but as they evolve, they don't alter her core self. Underneath the shifting sands of her feelings, there is a strong, whole, healthy little girl who is growing in confidence and wisdom with each passing year. I need this reminder too.
